Pilot
- October 3, 1961
Episode 1
First
Season 1961-1962 Episodes 2-30
Second
Season 1961-1962 Episodes 31-63
Third
Season 1961-1962 Episodes 64-96
Fourth
Season 1961-1962 Episodes 97-127
Fifth
Season 1961-1962 Episodes 128-158
Dick
Van Dyke Show pilot - October 3, 1961
1-"The Sick Boy and the Sitter"
Comedy writer Rob Petrie talks his wife Laura into
leaving their "sick" son Richie with a babysitter while
they attend a big party. Stacey Keach guest-stars.
First
Season 1961-1962
2-"The Meershatz Pipe"
Rob fears he is no longer needed when his cowriters
do a show without his help.
3-"Jealousy"
Laura begins to worry when Rob has to work nights
with a beautiful television star.
4-"Sally and the Lab Technician"
Laura matches up her pharmacist cousin, Thomas, with
Rob's fireball cowriter, Sally, for a lopsided dinner
party.
5-"Washington vs. the Bunny"
Rob is determined to go on a business trip even though
Laura wants him to see their son Richie "star" in a
school play.
6-"Oh How We Met the Night That We Danced"
While rummaging through Rob's old army equipment,
Rob and Laura recall that he broke her foot the night
they met.
7-"The Unwelcome Houseguest"
Rob reluctantly agrees to take care of Buddy's dog for
the weekend and creates a furor when he brings the
animal home.
8-"Harrison B. Harding of Camp Crowder, MO"
Rob invites an old Army pal home to dinner and begins
to fear he has a jewel thief on his hands.
9-"My Blonde-Haired Brunette"
Laura dyes her hair blonde when she fears the romance
in her marriage is fading.
10-"Forty-Four Tickets"
Rob invites 44 fellow PTA members to his television
show, but forgets all about it until air time.
11-"To Tell or Not to Tell"
Rob and Richie find themselves more than a little lost
when Laura briefly resumes her dancing career.
12-"Sally Is a Girl"
Rob is accused of being a Don Juan when he takes his
wife's advice and stops treating co-writer Sally as one
of the boys.
13-"Empress Carlotta's Necklace"
Rob proudly presents Laura with a huge, horrible
necklace, but she cannot bring herself to tell him that it
is an atrocity. Gavin MacLeod guest-stars.
14-"Buddy, Can You Spare a Job?"
After Buddy leaves "The Alan Brady Show" for a job
that falls through, Rob and Sally conspire to get him his
old job back.
15-"Who Owes Who What?"
Rob's forgotten loan turns into a forgotten debt, and a
television script.
16-"Sol and the Sponsor"
A fancy dinner party for Rob's television sponsor and
his wife is enlivened by the arrival of Rob's old Army
buddy.
17-"The Curious Thing About Women"
Rob's sense of humor backfires when he decides to
base a television skit on Laura's penchant for opening
his mail.
18-"Punch Thy Neighbor"
Rob's dentist pal, Jerry, strains the friendship when he
starts knocking Rob's television show in public.
19-"Where Did I Come From?"
Six-year-old Richie asks his parents the inevitable
"Where did I come from?" question. They recall the
days before his birth.
20-"The Boarder Incident"
While his wife is away, Buddy moves in with the
Petries and quickly wears out his welcome.
21-"A Word a Day"
Richie's expanding vocabulary starts to branch out in
unexpected directions. William Schallert guest-stars.
22-"The Talented Neighborhood"
When his show announces a talent contest, Rob finds
himself besieged by the parents of neighborhood
prodigies. Barry Livingston guest-stars.
23-"Father of the Week"
Rob's paternal pride suffers a cruel shock when he
finds out that his six-year-old son is ashamed of him.
24-"The Twizzle"
Sally drags the entire production staff to a bowling
alley, where she unveils a new song and dance. Jack
Albertson guest-stars.
25-"One Angry Man"
Serving on jury duty, Rob finds himself siding with the
beautiful blonde defendant.
26-"Where You Been, Fassbinder?"
Romance enters Sally's life in the form of an insurance
salesman named Leo Fassbinder.
27-"The Bad Old Days"
Buddy convinces Rob that--like all American
husbands--he is being dominated by a woman.
28-"I Am My Brother's Keeper"
Rob's bashful brother arrives in town and proves to be
confident and outgoing only when he is sleepwalking.
Jerry Van Dyke guest stars.
29-"The Sleeping Brother"
Rob's talented, sleepwalking brother manages to
audition successfully for "The Alan Brady Show" even
while wide-awake. Jerry Van Dyke guest-stars. Carl
Reiner makes his first appearance as Alan Brady in this
episode.
30-"The Return of Happy Spangler"
Rob tries valiantly to help an old radio comedy writer
make a comeback.
Second
Season 1962-1963
31-"Never Name a Duck"
When one of Richie's two pet ducks dies, it seems as if
the Petrie family has lost one of its human members.
32-"The Two Faces of Rob"
To prove that a wife cannot always recognize her
husband on the telephone, Rob disguises his voice and
asks Laura for a date.
33-"Bank Book 6565696"
Rob is puzzled and chagrined when he finds that Laura
has a secret nest egg of her own.
34-"The Attempted Marriage"
A crippled jeep and a sprained ankle make Rob two
hours late for his own wedding.
35-"Hustling the Hustler"
Rob has an evening of high adventure with a veteran
pool shark who pretends he can't play the game.
36-"What's in a Middle Name?"
Rob has some explaining to do when son Richie learns
that his middle name is Rosebud.
37-"My Husband Is Not a Drunk"
Rob Petrie suffers from a post-hypnotic suggestion
meant for someone else, and it causes mayhem at work
38-"Like a Sister"
A handsome balladeer brings romance into Sally's life.
39-"The Night the Roof Fell In"
Rob walks out of the house following a spat with Laura
after a tiring day for the both of them.
40-"The Secret Life of Buddy and Sally"
Rob suspects cowriters Buddy and Sally of carrying on
a clandestine romance.
41-"A Bird in the Head Hurts"
Richie runs into the house screaming that he has been
pecked on the head by a giant woodpecker.
42-"Gesundheit, Darling"
Rob begins to fear he is allergic to his own family when
proximity to Laura and Richie starts him sneezing.
43-"A Man's Teeth Are Not His Own"
Rob feels that he has betrayed his dentist friend, Jerry
Helper, when he lets another dentist work on his teeth.
44-"Somebody Has to Play Cleopatra"
Rob directs an amateur theatrical in which rehearsals
are dogged by controversy over the casting of a key
part--Cleopatra.
45-"The Cat Burglar"
A phantom burglar pillages the Petrie home, but the
police are baffled as to how he did it.
46-"The Foul-Weather Girl"
Laura sees a singing weather girl as a threat to her
marriage.
47-"Will You Two Be My Wife?"
Rob is slapped, kicked, and screamed at--among
other things--by the girl he left behind when he entered
the Army.
48-"Ray Murdock's X-Ray"
Rob finds himself in hot water after giving a television
interview in which he unwittingly portrays his wife
Laura as a nut.
49-"I Was a Teenage Head Writer"
An office crisis sets Rob to reminiscing about his hectic
early days as a comedy writer.
50-"My Husband Is a Check-Grabber"
Laura tries to break Rob of his expensive habit of
picking up the check.
51-"It May Look Like a Walnut"
Under the influence of science fiction, Rob fears that a
walnut will steal his imagination and his thumbs. Danny
Thomas guest-stars.
52-"Don't Trip Over That Mountain"
To his great regret, Rob ignores Laura's warning to
stay off the big slopes on his first skiing excursion.
53-"Give Me Your Walls!"
When Rob's living room needs a paint job, he hires a
colorful master painter of Rome, Florence, and
Brooklyn.
54-"The Sam Pomerantz Scandals"
Rob, Laura and the office gang put together a variety
show to help out an old friend.
55-"I'm No Henry Walden!"
Rob finds himself very out of place at a dinner party for
celebrated literati. Carl Reiner guest-stars.
56-"The Square Triangle"
French singing idol Jacques Savon, who has played a
curious part in both Rob's and Laura's past, suddenly
reappears.
57-"Racy Tracy Rattigan"
A romantic British film star arouses Rob's ire by his
attention to Laura. Richard Dawson guest-stars.
58-"Divorce"
Rob finds himself caught in the middle after Buddy
announces he is going to divorce Pickles.
59-"It's a Shame She Married Me"
Rob suffers pangs of jealousy when Laura meets a
successful old flame. Robert Vaughn guest-stars.
60-"A Surprise Surprise Is a Surprise"
Laura despairs when husband Rob learns of her
elaborate plans to throw a surprise party for him.
61-"Jilting the Jilter"
Sally gets a marriage proposal from an opportunistic
comedian who wants her to write his material.
62-"When a Bowling Pin Talks, Listen"
Rob finds himself in hot water after inadvertently lifting
a comedy idea from another show. Carl Reiner
guest-stars.
63-"All About Eavesdropping"
Through Richie's toy intercom, Rob and Laura tune in
on a conversation at the Helpers' and almost lose two
friends.
Third
Season 1963-1964
64-"That's My Boy?"
Rob recalls the hectic days after Richie was born,
when he was sure the hospital had given him and Laura
the wrong baby.
65-"The Masterpiece"
Rob and Laura return home from an auction with two
mysterious objects d'art.
66-"Laura's Little Lie"
Complications arise when Laura confesses to Rob that
she lied about her age on their marriage certificate.
67-"Very Old Shoes, Very Old Rice"
Rob and Laura learn they are not legally married and
make plans to elope.
68-"Uncle George"
Rob's Uncle George arrives in town and asks his
nephew to find him a wife.
69-"Too Many Stars"
Rob finds he has "too many stars" on his hands when
he tries to direct a show for the Parents' Council.
70-"Who and Where Was Antonio Stradivarius?"
Rob finds himself at a party in a strange town, swaying
to the bossa nova with a breathless young woman who
adores him.
71-"Big Max Calvada"
An underworld figure involves Rob, Sally, and Buddy
in an unusual writing assignment. Jack Larson
guest-stars.
72-"The Ballad of the Betty Lou"
Rob and Jerry invest in a sailboat and find they have
embarked on a disastrous venture.
73-"Turtles, Ties and Toreadors"
Rob feels like a hero when he hires a maid for his
overworked wife, Laura.
74-"The Sound of the Trumpets of Conscience
Falls Deafly on a Brain That Holds Its Ears...or
Something Like That!"
Rob thinks he has witnessed two crooks running from
the scene of a crime.
75-"The Third One From The Left"
A young chorus girl on "The Alan Brady Show" falls
desperately in love with Rob.
76-"The Alan Brady Show Presents"
The entire Alan Brady staff presents a Christmas show
instead of the script turned in by the show's writers.
Carl Reiner guest-stars.
77-"My Husband Is the Best One"
Rob gets into trouble at work after Laura interferes in
an interview he is giving on Alan Brady.
78-"Happy Birthday and Too Many More"
When Laura and Rob give Richie a birthday party, 63
screaming moppets make a shambles of the Petrie
house.
79-"The Lady and the Tiger and the Lawyer"
When a handsome bachelor, Arthur Stanwyck, moves
in next door, Rob and Laura become matchmakers.
80-"The Life and Love of Joe Coogan"
Laura meets her old love, a young man who has
entered the priesthood.
81-"A Nice Friendly Game of Cards"
Inadvertently using a deck of marked cards, Rob wins
at poker and almost loses a few friends. Ed Platt
guest-stars.
82-"The Brave and the Backache"
Rob consults a psychiatrist to determine whether a
series of mysterious ailments is psychosomatic. Ken
Berry guest-stars.
83-"The Pen Is Mightier Than the Mouth"
Rob and Buddy find themselves overworked and
overwrought when Sally becomes a television
personality overnight.
84-"My Part-Time Wife"
When Laura fills in for Sally at the office, she does such
a perfect job that Rob almost loses his mind.
85-"Honeymoons Are for the Lucky"
Rob recalls the hectic time of his Army marriage to
Laura, and the difficulty in obtaining a three-day pass
for their honeymoon.
86-"How to Spank a Star"
At the insistence of a domineering guest star, Rob
takes over as producer of "The Alan Brady Show."
87-"The Plots Thicken"
A family crisis develops when Rob's and Laura's
parents compete to get the couple committed to their
respective cemetery plots.
88-"Scratch My Car and Die"
A scratch on Rob's new car causes a domestic crisis at
the Petrie house.
89-"The Return of Edwin Carp"
Rob rounds up three notable personalities from the old
days of radio for an Alan Brady "special."
90-"October Eve"
A painting of Laura returns to haunt her. Although she
posed fully clothed, the artist took the liberty of
"undraping" her.
91-"Dear Mrs. Petrie, Your Husband Is in Jail"
When Rob looks up an old Army buddy at a
honky-tonk nitery, the result is a confusion-packed
night that finally lands him in jail.
92-"My Neighbor's Husband's Other Life"
Rob and Laura suspect the worst when they spy their
friend Jerry Helper dining out with a beautiful blonde.
93-"I'd Rather Be Bald Than Have No Head at
All"
Rob thinks he's going bald and tries a barber's secret
recipe which consists of ingredients usually reserved for
a salad.
94-"Teacher's Petrie"
Rob is skeptical when Laura's new writing teacher
thinks she shows promise.
95-"My Two Showoffs and Me"
The prospect of being the subjects in a national
magazine story brings out the egotistical worst in Rob,
Sally, and Buddy.
Fourth
Season 1964-1965
96-"My Mother Can Beat Up My Father"
Laura proves herself more proficient than Rob in the
art of self-defense. Guest star: Ken Berry.
97- "Ghost of A. Chantz"
Rob, Laura, Sally, and Buddy spend a frightening night
in a haunted cabin at a mountain resort.
98-"The Lady and the Babysitter"
Rob and Laura are unaware that their teenage
babysitter has a crush on Laura.
99-"The Vigilante Ripped My Sports Coat"
Rob's friendship with Jerry is almost destroyed in a
row over a neighbor's crabgrass lawn.
100-"The Man From Emperor"
When Rob is offered a job as humor consultant on a
magazine for men-about-town, he runs into misgivings
from Laura.
101-"Romance, Roses and Rye Bread"
Sally is romanced by a secret admirer--the owner of
Monker's Delicatessen.
102-"4 1/2"
Rob and Laura are on their way to see Laura's
obstetrician when they are trapped in a stalled elevator
with a hold-up man. Don Rickles guest-stars.
103-"The Alan Brady Show Goes to Jail"
The Alan Brady writers entertain at a prison and Rob
gets locked up with the inmates. Don Rickles
guest-stars.
104-"Three Letters From One Wife"
Rob risks his job when he convinces Alan Brady to do
a cultural documentary program. Carl Reiner
guest-stars.
105-"It Wouldn't Hurt Them to Give Us a Raise"
The Brady writers press for higher salaries and find
themselves tangled in a maze of interlocking
corporations.
106-"Pink Pills for Purple Patients"
Laura takes two pink pills and suffers disastrous side
effects.
107-"The Death of the Party"
Rob struggles through a party for Laura's relatives
rather than admit he is sick as a dog.
108-"Stretch Petrie vs. Kid Schenk"
Rob is forced to squelch the scheme of an
opportunistic old friend.
109-"The Impractical Joke"
Rob resorts to psychological warfare to get even with a
practical joker.
110-"Brother, Can You Spare $2500?"
Rob receives a ransom demand of $2500 for his lost
television script.
111-"Stacey Petrie - Part I"
Rob's younger brother becomes romantically involved
with Sally.
112-"Stacey Petrie - Part II"
Stacey Petrie tries to save his new coffeehouse from
closing and his romance from ending. Carl Reiner
guest-stars.
113-"The Redcoats Are Coming"
The Petries are invaded by a horde of teenagers when
they entertain two British rock-and-roll idols.
114-"Boy #1 Versus Boy #2"
Laura and Millie become unbearable stage mothers
when their sons are cast in a television commercial.
115-"The Case of the Pillow"
Rob becomes a trial lawyer to prosecute a shifty
salesman. Ed Begley guest-stars.
116-"Young Man With a Shoehorn"
When he invests in a shoe store, Rob learns that a shoe
clerk's lot is not always a happy one.
117-"Girls Will Be Boys"
The Petries face a problem when Richie is beaten up
by a pretty little girl who loves him.
118-"Bupkiss"
Rob learns that a song he wrote with an old buddy is
about to be a hit, and he starts a fight over authorship
rights.
119-"Your Home Sweet Home Is My Home"
Rob recalls the time he and his best friend tried to buy
the same house.
120-"Not Now, Anthony Stone"
Sally's new tall, dark and handsome boyfriend is
secretive about what he does for a living.
121-"Never Bathe on Saturday"
The Petries' romantic second honeymoon becomes a
disaster when Laura's toe gets caught in a bath spout.
122-"100 Terrible Hours"
Rob recalls his job interview with Alan Brady near the
end of an arduous keep-awake marathon.
123-"A Show of Hands"
Just before they are due at a formal banquet, Rob and
Laura accidentally dye their hands an indelible black.
124-"Baby Fat"
Rob helps Alan Brady by rewriting a play starring the
comic. Carl Reiner guest-stars.
125-"Br-room, Br-room"
Rob buys a motorcycle and is arrested as a joy-riding
delinquent the first time out.
126-"There's No Sale Like Wholesale"
Rob and Laura learn that buying a fur coat wholesale
can be trouble when their "connection" is Buddy
Sorrell.
127-"A Farewell to Writing"
Rob sets out to write a book during his vacation, but
has trouble getting started.
Fifth
Season 1965-1966
128-"Coast-to-Coast Big Mouth"
Laura blurts out a top secret on a national television
quiz show--that comedian Alan Brady wears a toupee.
Carl Reiner guest-stars.
129-"Uhny Uftz"
Rob sees a flying saucer and tracks it to its lair--the
office above his own.
130-"The Ugliest Dog in the World"
Rob and Laura try to find a permanent home for an
ugly little mutt from the dog pound.
131-"No Rice at My Wedding"
Rob and Laura recall their courtship days, when Rob
almost lost Laura to another man.
132-"Draw Me a Pear"
Rob and Laura enroll in an art class--and the beautiful
instructress has designs on Rob.
133-"The Great Petrie Fortune"
Rob's dreams of inheriting a fortune are dashed until he
realizes the intangible worth of an old photograph.
134-"Odd But True"
Rob is offered $500 because the freckles on his back
are in the shape of the Liberty Bell.
135-"Viva Petrie"
Rob and Laura have an unusual houseguest, a
bullfighter named Manuel who installs himself as a
handyman.
136-"Go Tell the Birds and the Bees"
When Richie spins a few fantastic stories for his
friends, his parents wind up in the school psychologist's
office.
137-"Body and Sol"
Rob recalls the time he defended his title as
middleweight champion of the Army camp.
138-"See Rob Write--Write, Rob, Write"
Rob and Laura become rivals when each writes a story
for children.
139-"You're Under Arrest"
Rob goes out to cool off after a quarrel with Laura and
winds up in trouble with the law.
140-"Fifty-two Forty-five or Work"
Rob recalls the time he was out of work with a new
home, no furniture, and a pregnant wife. James
Frawley guest-stars.
141-"Who Stole My Watch?"
Rob loses his friends as well as his watch when the
friends learn they're all under suspicion.
142-"Bad Reception in Albany"
While out of town for a cousin's wedding, Rob has to
locate a television set to watch a special show. He
wears a tuxedo with fur lapels for the occasion.
143-"I Do Not Choose to Run"
Rob can't make up his mind when asked to be a
candidate for the city council. Arte Johnson
guest-stars.
144-"The Making of a Councilman"
Rob agrees to run for office but realizes he'd prefer to
vote for his brainy opponent.
145-"The Curse of the Petrie People"
Rob's parents give a family heirloom piece of jewelry
to Laura, who accidentally drops it in the garbage
disposal.
146-"The Bottom of Mel Cooley's Heart"
When Mel Cooley takes Rob's advice and stands up
to Alan Brady, he is promptly fired. Carl Reiner
guest-stars.
147-"Remember the Alimony"
Rob and Laura recall the time they filled in an
application for a $10 divorce. Bernie Kopell
guest-stars.
148-"Dear Sally Rogers"
Sally advertises for a husband on a national television
show as a gag and is flooded with fan mail.
149-"Buddy Sorrell--Man and Boy"
Symptoms and evidence indicate that Buddy is either
seeing a psychiatrist or having an affair,
when in fact he is merely preparing for
his belated Bar Mitzvah.
150-"Long Night's Journey Into Day"
Laura spends a harrowing night alone in the house
when the rest of the family goes off on a fishing trip.
151-"Talk to the Snail"
Believing that comedian Alan Brady plans to cut down
his writing staff, Rob applies for a job with a
ventriloquist.
152-"A Day in the Life of Alan Brady"
The Petries' anniversary party for the Helpers turns into
a television documentary for Alan Brady. Carl Reiner
guest-stars.
153-"Obnoxious, Offensive, Egomaniac, Etc."
Rob and his writers are in big trouble for adding insults
to an Alan Brady script. Carl Reiner guest-stars.
154-"The Man From My Uncle"
The Petrie home becomes a command post when
government agents put a neighbor's home under
surveillance.
155-"You Ought to Be in Pictures"
Rob is cast opposite a gorgeous Italian actress in a
low-budget film and turns out to be the screen's worst
lover.
156-"Love Thy Other Neighbor"
Rob and Laura are dismayed by Millie Helper's
jealousy of their new neighbors.
157-"The Last Chapter"
Rob's autobiography conjures up scenes from the past
and leads Alan Brady to buy the book for a television
series. Carl Reiner guest-stars.
158-"The Gunslinger"
The Petries and their friends are transported to the
Wild West when Rob dreams he is a frontier sheriff.
Carl Reiner guest-stars.
|